Slow Walkers: Get out th’ way!

    

 

You know when you’re rushing to class along a main pedestrian thoroughfare at school, you speed up your step once you realize you are running late, only to nearly bump into a person walking hella slow in front of you?!   Slow person usually has their head slightly down, either listening to their effin’ ipods or on the phone, or both, completely oblivious to the fact that they are causing a bottleneck in the flow of the main thoroughfare. They don’t even realize that their hella slow walking caused you to slow down, which slowed down the person behind you, and so on. It is truly the hella slow walkers that cause major pedestrian congestion, which is the cause of everyone else being late.

 

I can’t help but wonder how these people get to class on time, EVER..

Then again,  I can’t help but wonder why I haven’t booted any slow walker yet… or led a herd of them off to a holding pen.

Gah!

 

 

It goes like this:

1. Note how much time until you are officially “late” for your next class
2. Start walking towards class location
3. Step up the pace, again, noting the time
4. Come up behind a hella-slow-walker
5. Swerve slightly to the left, trying to go around hella-slow-walker
6. Swerve slightly to the right, trying to get around again
7. Say “ugh!” slightly under your breath
8. Swerve back to the left, nearly running into oncoming pedestrian traffic
9. Twist body at weird angle to avoid walking face-first into oncoming pedestrian traffic
10. Swerve back in front of hella-slow-walker
11. Note how much time until you are officially “late” for your next class

Repeat. …and REPEAT.. and REPEAT… again, and again…

 

…

It’s a wonder I get anywhere on time..

[maybe I should just start going around school with a flame thrower to clear my path]

…

 

–JASS